benlehman | (no subject)

(no subject)

Most painful thing I've had to write in a while

Why? Because I spend a lot of time and emotionally energy in said isolated circles.

Ahw, fuck it all.

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A man wandered out from the desert, almost dying of thirst. He met an old man, and begged for a drink of "cool, refreshing water". The old man went over to the well, and came back with water, warm and brackish. "I asked for cool refreshing water!" cried the desert traveler.

"Ah, my friend. We are all prisoners of this world, and prisoners do not always get the best of nutrition."

Dude, you said important things. You said them well. I'm sorry it pained you, but if you can, take comfort in my enthusiastic applause.

I was pained by what I wrote in that thread, too, but for different reasons. (http://ethan-greer.livejournal.com/12558.html)

Hrm, I think it depends on your definition of feminism. I think the "patriarchal society" definition is somewhat outmoded at this point: feminists, women, and men of the past and present have made a FUCK of a lot of progress in making our society much less patriarchal. I've never particularly felt discriminated against because of my gender. I'll grant you that it can be quite different in different social strata and dramatically different in different countries. In some groups, for example lower- or working-class urban black people, men and women both get a terrible societal shake but the women are often doing BETTER.

I would argue that the principle we should follow (call it feminism or not) is that all people should have options. In a Western upper-middle-class social stratum, which comprises many gamers, women have dramatically opened their life-course and social options while men still have wide swaths that are highly stigmatized. If I wanted to be a chem professor at Harvard I might face some sexism, but try being a stay-at-home dad.

Ben, you know I don't always agree with you, but sometimes you're the bomb-diggity. And today's one of those days.

I just spent several paragraphs trying to explain to Tony LB that I value Jess and Mo's opinions MORE THAN OTHER PEOPLE's because they tell me things I'm less likely to hear other places. I realize that other people don't feel the same way, but that's where I currently stand. Yay for diversity.

But you already knew I was a leftist vegan commie hippie pinko.

I think it depends rather strongly on whether it is more important that your gaming discussion be feminist or that your gaming discussion push the envelope.

Huh?? Here's the odd thing. I think that feminism can push the envelope. In fact, I think that commitment to feminism within gaming is likely to push the envelope, because the box that gaming currently is in is pretty non-feminist.

I also note, now, that I'm reading over the threads and trying to figure out context, and I may have totally the wrong idea from comments, but...

...it's worth noting that, in my yonically-endowed opinion, a girl who feels "excluded" because of dick jokes or the occasional comment about hot chicks is not a girl I'd go particularly far to *include.* In anything.

Hey Ben,

Just wanted to let you know that I wasn't trying to jump on you in Vincent's marginalia. After reading your responses here I think that we may be at least as much in agreement on certain things as not. Communicating in internet snippets just really tends to skew the larger picture of a person's stance, ideas, and opinions.

I find what you write, and what you have to say, to be very worthwhile.

Wow, I wake up in the morning and the thread has exploded. Good stuff, Ben.

My feeling is that most gamers don't want to talk about this stuff, and that's fine for them. But, I guess, we aren't most gamers?!

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