(no subject)

[benlehman]

Most painful thing I've had to write in a while

Why? Because I spend a lot of time and emotionally energy in said isolated circles.

Ahw, fuck it all.

Comments

[foreign-devilry.livejournal.com]

I guess I feel like Feminism gave (and continues to give) women a way of reconsidering society's rules and expectations of them. A lot of things have changed for women in the last 50-100 years and they are continuing to change, and women are talking about it and trying to figure out what new developments mean for the women's movement, etc.

But, what's missing is a movement where men start rethinking traditional conceptions of masculinity and try to figure out what it means to be a man in modern times. Instead, I think, men have just been defensively responding to Feminism, struggling to hold onto traditional male values that we think are actually positive, and trying to convince ourselves that male characteristics and sexuality are not bad. And that's not a very productive tactic and obviously I've not been able to convince myself that an active male sexuality can be non-creepy. But hopefully I'll get there eventually. So yeah.

I do realize this is an issue I have. I wasn't posting that thing to rant about the evils of male sexuality or whatever. I was just making an honest statement of how I still feel.

[benlehman.livejournal.com]

Yes.

And no.

Frankly, feminism has huge, huge, huge role to play in the demonization of male sexuality. When most rape inormation sites give "advice to men" as "make sure you don't slip up and accidentally rape someone" something is *wrong* and it ain't with the men.

yrs--
--Ben

[foreign-devilry.livejournal.com]

I think blaming that on Feminism is unfair, like blaming all Japanese for WWII. Certainly there have been some branches of Feminism that have tried to dismantle male power structures to the point that they leave men with no real sense of identity, but saying that was the work of Feminism as a whole is misrepresenting things.

But, yeah, rape information sites should have a statement like "men get raped too, but not usually by women," and then talk seriously about male rape and then consent and that sort of thing.

[benlehman.livejournal.com]

Ah. So, the isolated incident defense?

Seriously, man. This is deep seated in traditional feminism. These are not isolated incidents.

I consider myself a feminist. I also think that there are huge glaring evils throughout the traditional movement, and a fuck-lot of them are around rape and sex.

yrs--
--Ben

[funwithrage.livejournal.com]

Yup.


It's worth noting that both Ben and I are from a freakishly liberal educational environment and thus probably have been exposed to a lot of the crazier side of feminism. I know I've been told the following:


a) that all porn/images of penii/dick jokes/scantily clad women are oppressive and evil,
b) that men should read my mind and know that I'm not okay with sex even if I'm saying and doing everything to the contrary, and even, in some cases,
c) that men should turn down sex that they thought I was offering for the wrong reasons, regardless of what I said about the matter, for my own good.


This is less "women have options" and more "women are fragile little victims; men are ravening beasts." Chivalry sits poorly with me, regardless of the political spectrum in which it originates.

[funwithrage.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm confused as to how male characteristics/sexuality *are* bad, because I'm not so much seeing that. I mean, standard gender roles, like sanity, are a prison, on that I think we can all agree...but I suppose I'm both unsure of what you mean by "male sexuality" and a bit perturbed that the batshit members of my gender have had such an influence on the culture.