benlehman | (no subject)

(no subject)

Most painful thing I've had to write in a while

Why? Because I spend a lot of time and emotionally energy in said isolated circles.

Ahw, fuck it all.

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Hrm, I think it depends on your definition of feminism. I think the "patriarchal society" definition is somewhat outmoded at this point: feminists, women, and men of the past and present have made a FUCK of a lot of progress in making our society much less patriarchal. I've never particularly felt discriminated against because of my gender. I'll grant you that it can be quite different in different social strata and dramatically different in different countries. In some groups, for example lower- or working-class urban black people, men and women both get a terrible societal shake but the women are often doing BETTER.

I would argue that the principle we should follow (call it feminism or not) is that all people should have options. In a Western upper-middle-class social stratum, which comprises many gamers, women have dramatically opened their life-course and social options while men still have wide swaths that are highly stigmatized. If I wanted to be a chem professor at Harvard I might face some sexism, but try being a stay-at-home dad.

Hee hee. I just started being a stay-at-home dad, so I don't yet have a lot of experience with sexism there.

We've broken through the legal barriers, but the social barriers are still quite strong. I really wouldn't say that the patriarchic society is a thing of the past. Not until we have wage equality and stop objectifying women at every turn, for starters.

And I agree wholeheartedly, all people should have options. In fact, in an optimal situation, all people should have the same options. But even in the middle class, women nowadays face pressures against options: pressures to be career women and raise the kids and take care of the house all at once, for example.

While I agree with wage equality and some aspects of society, I have to note, as usual, my vhement disagreement with some of the standard feminist "objectification" arguments: it's not like I particularly care about the hearts and souls and moral character of many men who interest me on a physical level, and it's not as if I treat men, in general, badly because of it.

If this wasn't what you meant by "objectification," I apologize. And blame Brown.

In general, though, I agree that we still face some social pressure--but not enough to merit men giving my opinion extra weight, I think, *except* on a few issues where my opinion comes from experience that they can't have.

Alison -- it's a good point.

My comments are specifically nested in the feminist culture that I know Vincent is committed to. Which is not third wave feminism. Does that make things clearer?

yrs--
--Ben

Yup.

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