benlehman | (no subject)

So I haven't written a lot here recently. Here's why:

I hand-delivered a copy of Polaris to a great fellow here in Helsinki who, I guess, is a bit of a fan of mine. Anyway, he reads this journal, and made reference to some stuff that I'd done recently.

And damned if that didn't feel wierd. I mean, not that it was anything really personal, it just felt wierd to talk to this guy I just met about things I'd done in the past. It felt way too intimate for a first meeting.

When I started this journal, I made a point of making every post public, because I want to lead a life that is by and large without secrets and obfuscations. I have violated this rule only a few times, for very personal reasons. Ideally, I would like anyone who cares to know about me to know about me.

But, also, there are a lot more people reading this than just my circle of friends and family now. I have published a book and, like it or not, that makes me sort of a public figure. I don't know if I want everything in my life to be a matter of public record if people are actually going to read about it.

So I'm trying to decide between:
1) change my writing in this journal to mostly sanitized things that I don't mind total strangers reading.
2) move most everything to friends-lock, thus locking out a lot of people who I'd like to be able to read the journal from reading it.

Thoughts?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because of two things:
1) Connections
2) Boredom

In equal amounts.

I remember I was surfing way back some five years ago? Anyway, I was looking at MIT's computer engineering department webpage and their attempts at creating new PC input devices (Not "the mouse", think "The Pyramid", "The curved floating spheroid"... cool stuff). Anyway, I followed one link, then another, then another. Interesting article. Then I notice that this guy who wrote an article had a personal site, with information about himself, what he does, etc.

So, out of curiosity about the Man behind the Article, fueled by solid boredom, I head over to the personal pages.

And they opened up with this paragraph or two of diatribe, like "If you're here, you probably don't know anything about me. It disturbs me that people would look at another person's personal info, stuff about someone they don't know and will never meet. Those kinds of people must have some real problems to..." yadda yadda yadda.

If I had an Internet Knife, I would have driven it into his skull. I mean, what the fuck? If you post personal stuff, then expect people to read it. If you don't want people to know about you, then don't post about it. People will read that shit, fueled by nothing more than boredom and natural interest in the human condition.

Now, the above situation isn't YOU, but it may inspire some thinking.

As for me, I'm thinking that if you have really personal stuff, maybe keep it to Friends Only. I only did that once, IIRC, because my blog is pretty much for Game Stuff. On my kitkowski.com / LJ "andyk_rss" feed, I keep things pretty clean because my dad and grandma read them a lot. I don't say things over there like, "When I visited my best friend's place in Oakland two weeks ago I ate one of his magical weed cookies and tripped balls so hard that I thought time was going backwards".

If I were to write kinda personal stuff like that, intended for friends, I'd probably do the Friend-Lock thing. I'd post normal personal stuff normally, and keep "issues" locked to private/friends.

Many of my buddies do this, and sometimes I get a little TMI from them, but as Clinton says, "I Know This about my Friend. I tuck it Away. But I totally won't bring it up to them, unless it sets off one of my own issues and I want to talk about it."

-Andy

Forgot to add:

Many of my buddies do this, and sometimes I get a little TMI from them, but as Clinton says, "I Know This about my Friend. I tuck it Away. But I totally won't bring it up to them, unless it sets off one of my own issues and I want to talk about it."

I forgot to mention that I also dig, or at least am interested in, the personal events of my friends (so the above "TMI" is on a relative scale- There's nothing that can be TMI for me, pretty much). If a friend is having a hard stressful time, and thinks that by making "The King has Donkey's Ears" posts on LJ will help a little, then I am more than happy to take on that role. I like gossip, I like inside info, I like reading what my friends are thinking, and I like helping them if I can.

And likewise, if I began posting personal, private stuff I'd probably lock it down to Friends Only or something.

And funny Clinton should sign in. I've been reading his blog(s) on and off since he lived in like Seattle, and for a few years now I've been really curious about a turn of events in his life from some years back, because I went through something similar. But I've never asked him about it in person (or even online), because I'm not THAT close with him, but I figure some day I would. When I'm a Level 13 Friend with the Know TMI About Relationships Feat or someshit.

But yeah, I wouldn't bring that shit up at the juice bar out of the blue, so in your case I think you just hit upon That Guy who doesn't have that whole Public/Private barrier thing quite down yet. Not that they're A FREAK!!! or anything, just maybe they don't know the boundaries. or maybe it's a cultural thing, even.

-Andy

Or maybe it's a cultural thing, even.

Yeah, it seems like Internet-culture and real-culture are two separate things, and we're habitually open in Internet-culture, but I know that in my personal real-culture, it's a Big Thing when i can talk honestly with someone about what is going on in my head.

Actually, I was thinking more "Finland-culture", not "Internet culture".

Yeah, I was pretty sure that you were; I was running off at a tangent.

And funny Clinton should sign in. I've been reading his blog(s) on and off since he lived in like Seattle, and for a few years now I've been really curious about a turn of events in his life from some years back, because I went through something similar.

You will bring this up very soon. :) I'm so curious now.