benlehman | (no subject)

So I haven't written a lot here recently. Here's why:

I hand-delivered a copy of Polaris to a great fellow here in Helsinki who, I guess, is a bit of a fan of mine. Anyway, he reads this journal, and made reference to some stuff that I'd done recently.

And damned if that didn't feel wierd. I mean, not that it was anything really personal, it just felt wierd to talk to this guy I just met about things I'd done in the past. It felt way too intimate for a first meeting.

When I started this journal, I made a point of making every post public, because I want to lead a life that is by and large without secrets and obfuscations. I have violated this rule only a few times, for very personal reasons. Ideally, I would like anyone who cares to know about me to know about me.

But, also, there are a lot more people reading this than just my circle of friends and family now. I have published a book and, like it or not, that makes me sort of a public figure. I don't know if I want everything in my life to be a matter of public record if people are actually going to read about it.

So I'm trying to decide between:
1) change my writing in this journal to mostly sanitized things that I don't mind total strangers reading.
2) move most everything to friends-lock, thus locking out a lot of people who I'd like to be able to read the journal from reading it.

Thoughts?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It really is a fascinating issue that personal blogs have created. I know exactly what you mean; it's strange to think that there are people out there whom I've never talked to, and yet if I did, they'd know about my family, my dreams and aspirations, and my rants, while I may not know a thing about them.

As a counter-example, I've never met Vincent nor talked to him other than on his blog or the Forge, but I've read through his site extensively... including his older stuff on what it's like to grow up Mormon and so on. It was just very interesting stuff. Now I have this weird feeling that I *know* him as I know a friend, even though he barely knows anything about me in return and we've never really talked. That's what putting your life out there for other people to read will do.

Interestingly, it's a phenomenon that celebrities are familiar with. Their lives are public, and when they meet people on the street, those people often know a lot about them and act as if they're mutual friends.

Now, as to what to do about it, it depends on how much it bothers you. I friends-lock entries that I think are too personal for just anyone to see, and I don't have a big friends list. But if it was entirely too personal, why would I post it at all? So some things I keep to myself. Others I put out there for people to see, and I don't mind them knowing those things about me.

So my suggestion is to go that way--make a judgment call on each entry individually rather than sanitizing or completely locking your journal.