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benlehman at 06:01pm on 25/05/2009
benlehman at 06:01pm on 25/05/2009Something that really bugs me about fiction is its portrayal of rape survivors: it's consistently and profoundly wrong, usually in a harmful or insulting way. I read an excellent series of articles today about rape and rape survivors and I thought they might be useful to writers and role-players* in terms of portraying rape survivors in fiction.
Rape Myth #1: Women make false rape accusations all the time
Rape Myth #2: She owed me.
Rape Myth #3: All women have rape fantasies, and therefore secretly want to be raped.
Rape Myth #4: Men can't be raped.
Rape Myth #5: I don't need to rape anyone.
Rape Myth #6 - Stranger Rape
Rape Myth #7: He doesn't look like a rapist and "He's my friend he can't be a rapist, I'd know."
Rape Myth #7 - How to Spot a Rapist. (yes, there are two #7s)
Rape Myth #8 - You Can't Rape a Hooker (Sex Worker).
Rape Myth #9 - You Have to Forgive to Heal and "The Sainted Survivor."
Rape Myth #10: S/he doesn't act like a rape victim.
Please do not comment here if you are going to argue with these points. As far as I am concerned, these points are not up for argument. If you want to do that, you can comment at the original post, but the poster reserves the right to "rip you apart and make you seek therapy."
* Since role-playing is a closed-group activity, you can of course do whatever you like as long as you're not hurting anyone at the table. That said, I think that the real issues that rape survivors go through are more interesting and compelling than the stereotypes.
Rape Myth #1: Women make false rape accusations all the time
Rape Myth #2: She owed me.
Rape Myth #3: All women have rape fantasies, and therefore secretly want to be raped.
Rape Myth #4: Men can't be raped.
Rape Myth #5: I don't need to rape anyone.
Rape Myth #6 - Stranger Rape
Rape Myth #7: He doesn't look like a rapist and "He's my friend he can't be a rapist, I'd know."
Rape Myth #7 - How to Spot a Rapist. (yes, there are two #7s)
Rape Myth #8 - You Can't Rape a Hooker (Sex Worker).
Rape Myth #9 - You Have to Forgive to Heal and "The Sainted Survivor."
Rape Myth #10: S/he doesn't act like a rape victim.
Please do not comment here if you are going to argue with these points. As far as I am concerned, these points are not up for argument. If you want to do that, you can comment at the original post, but the poster reserves the right to "rip you apart and make you seek therapy."
* Since role-playing is a closed-group activity, you can of course do whatever you like as long as you're not hurting anyone at the table. That said, I think that the real issues that rape survivors go through are more interesting and compelling than the stereotypes.
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Re: RP and Rape.
I have very rarely been in any situation that I could say I came away from a roleplay about rape without feeling a bit like someone had just RPed childbirth by spitting the child up through their mouth. This is not to say there's no one out there who can RP a rape trauma without being a total chode, but it is very rare. I don't blame those games that disallow the concept from being played out in their games.
Is it realistic to disallow rape? Perhaps not. But the way it's played so rarely corresponds to realism, so why let it be a charade of insanity?
I think there could be a whole other set of myths just about RP rape. The one I think I see more than any that upsets me is "Rape is a character development tool". That's a bit like saying, "vomiting your innards is a character development tool". Having been on the receiving end of sexual violence, I find it stomach turning when someone tries to make something so degrading and terrible into a way to make Mary Sue into a more likable pup.
That said, I have once or twice run into it played well. It's very rare, but it happens. I wonder now and then what the guidelines for that would be.
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I'm also not saying "hey, everyone, play a rape survivor in your games." Just, if you're going to, might as well do it right.
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This post of yours put me on edge, for some reason. I'm going to try to set aside some time today to figure out what's going on with that.
Thanks for provoking thought/reaction.
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