Well, I had recently come across a list of these from contemporary (non-genre) authors, and honestly yours was more evocative than most of those. Maybe it's just because you have genre on your side. The word 'horror' is the eighth word.
Still, it was evocative. It's hard to set a tone/voice in seven words.
It's a tricky medium. You want to imply a beginning, middle, ending, and a sense of action between the three. I think a lot of the contemporary ones just went for setting a single scene, or an evocative idea or action, rather than a story. Which is cool, but ultimately less compelling.
I have a lot of experience writing haiku, tan bahk, and similar ultra-short form poems. I imagine it helps.
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I still think Hemingway's is the best, but that one is pretty darn good.
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Well, I had recently come across a list of these from contemporary (non-genre) authors, and honestly yours was more evocative than most of those. Maybe it's just because you have genre on your side. The word 'horror' is the eighth word.
Still, it was evocative. It's hard to set a tone/voice in seven words.
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I have a lot of experience writing haiku, tan bahk, and similar ultra-short form poems. I imagine it helps.